


Dancing On My Own

by soyforramen



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 13:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19947235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soyforramen/pseuds/soyforramen
Summary: She never wanted this life.  But then again, neither did he.





	Dancing On My Own

They all wanted her to be something she wasn’t.

It wasn’t hard to see, not when the entire institute was in the national spotlight, and her thrust into the middle of it. After the bad publicity surrounding The Brotherhood and Apocalypse, Ororo needed some way to show the world that mutants weren’t a threat on their own. She needed to prove that not all mutants wanted to take over the world.

But with Scott and Jean gone, she was left standing in the spotlight alone. She needed someone to show how normal mutants could be. And who was more wholesome than a couple who stayed together, who loved each other without being able to communicate it through touch?

Rogue and Bobby were the natural successors to Scott and Jean’s public image. From all outward appearances they were deeply in love, partners in public and private. They’d found love in a hopeless world. And it wasn’t long before they were being groomed for leadership, him in the field, her in a public-facing role. 

After all, his mutation was useful in a fight and in recon. Hers was defensive, plain and simple. And who had a need for a mutation such as hers with all the side effects that came with it?

Ororo had done the math and discovered that Rogue was better suited to stand strong against the public onslaught. They’d gain more sympathy for the cause if Rogue was at the front. A girl with a mutation no one want for themselves or their children. She was a girl who couldn’t touch. A girl who could kill just by touching someone. A tragedy that would break Shakespeare’s heart.

That was why after she’d graduated high school along with her peers, she’d been the one ushered into an administrative role. Enrollment, contact with donors, invitations to private fundraisers. She was no longer allowed into the field, her training sessions ending with Logan’s disappearance. It was expected that she juggle this full time job along with her class load at NYU, her major chosen for her in furtherance of the school’s mission.

Meanwhile, Bobby was traveling the world to put out fires in the name of mutant equality. The only expectation put upon him was to be Ororo’s second in command in the field.

It was enough to make a girl scream. She’d dreamed of more than this. More than being a secretary, more than being someone else’s mouthpiece, more than being someone’s girlfriend, more than having to force a smile when all she wanted to do was scream.

She still hadn’t seen the Grand Canyon, or the Eiffel Tower, or the Rocky Mountains. 

Everyday she played her part. She stood in front of cameras, microphones, and plead for peace and equality. She kept up her grades, joined extracurriculars, and stood by Bobby’s side. Because despite their mutations, they were still able to live a semi-normal life. They’d stood together against homicidal maniacs, narcissists, and politicians. He was willing to stay together despite her mutation and she… well that was the problem, wasn’t it?

Why was she even still here? Together, with him? 

There’d always been rumors. She’d ignored them at first, ignored John’s warnings, ignored Jubilee’s pointed looks. He’d been discreet enough the rumors dissolved on their own. Hangouts, and hugging, and talking, and long glances had been dismissed as paranoia, jealousy. And besides, they’d said under their breath when they thought they were alone, could you blame him if he had?

It was all swept under the rug as easily as her own feelings about it. Even when he and Kitty stopped speaking one day. Even when he’d go out late at night and come home two days later. Even when…

Before he at least loved her enough to hide it. Now he didn’t seem to care. And the longer they were together, neither did she.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. To be thrown over so easy hurt her pride. Her ego. Her sense of self. He’d done what she’d always feared, sought solace and comfort in someone else because she couldn’t give him what he wanted. 

Because he was too afraid to try.

Behind closed doors he didn’t try to act like her boyfriend anymore. They were still friends, but only that.

The flame between them had long ago died out between his cold lips and her cold heart.

It would have been easy enough to have kept on like this forever. Bobby chasing other girls while she lied to herself. It was a contented life, even if it wasn’t a happy one.

Then he had to destroy it all by proposing to her in front of the whole institute.

He knew she hated this type of public confrontation. They’d never talked about marriage. They’d never broached the subject of the future. 

And yet. Perhaps she should have seen this coming. They’d been together six, almost seven years now.

It was silent in the foyer as they watched for her response. No one blinked an eye when Kitty stormed out of the room.

It wasn’t the first time Rogue wished they could switch places.

She’d said the only thing she could with that many people watching. And now Bobby was pushing for a spring wedding. He wanted the symbolic renewal of hope, a tribute to those who’d died. The wedding was supposed to stand for everything but their relationship. He and Ororo had already begun the planning long before he’d asked. 

The only input she was asked for was what type of flowers should be on the alter. When her response didn’t come quick enough, they’d chosen peace lilies and irises. Peace and hope for the future.

Rogue had always wanted oleander and magnolias.

That day wasn’t the first time she’d wanted to up and run from this ‘perfect’ life. And it wasn’t the first time she’d run away. Because that was what she did when she was unsettled. Anxious. Lonely. It was what she was good at.

Running.

Just like she had when Bobby wanted to take a ‘break’ from their relationship. He’d found Betsy, she’d found Montana. Just like when Logan disappeared and nobody could speak his name, she disappeared to Mexico and spoke the name of everyone she’d met. Just like when Bobby had asked for her hand in marriage, she’d run to the boot of Italy,

And when it became public knowledge that Bobby was stepping out on her with a teacher from a sister institute, Rogue ran to Escape.

For the first time she ran towards the problem. To find Bobby. She knew he was here. He’d left his phone on the bed while he went to work out, unlocked and open to her message. All it took was a glance for Rogue to see who, when and where he was supposed to be that night.

Maybe Bobby wanted to escape too.

It didn’t take long to pack what little she owned. Her mother’s ring, Logan’s dog tags, and the clothes she’d brought to the institute where barely enough to fill her purse. Everything else she’d left behind. The rest of it wasn’t hers anyway. Not really. It was either a gift from someone now dead or gone, or purchased with the institute’s money. 

She’d left a note and Bobby’s ring behind. He wouldn’t need a reason, but Ororo would. She owed her that much at least.

No one noticed as she left through the front door. Everyone knew her by name, but no one cared to know her. Those who did were long gone, graduated and out living their own lives away from this place. 

On the way to the club, she keyed in John’s number, desperate to hear from him. An apology was on the tip of her tongue, a need to tell him how badly she’d missed him. He’d never pick up, though. Not with her number attached to the call. She wondered for the thousandth time whether she’d made the right choice with Bobby.

When she arrived, she found Escape to be a club like any other. Loud music, bright strobe light, dark corners, and free-flowing liquor. It’s only distinguishing feature was a sign on the door that said ‘Mutants Welcome.’ Money was still money in places like this, no matter who spent it.

A couple jostled her on their way to the dance floor, and she moved around the edges of the room. Her eyes scanned the floor, sweat beaded between her shoulders. 

She used to love clubbing. The driving bass, the churn of strangers, the limbo where life outside meant nothing. It was so easy to lose herself to the music. 

Bobby never wanted to go. He claimed to hate the crowds and the loud music.

Turned out he just hated going to clubs with her.

There, on the dance floor. Strong, sweet, tender, cheating Bobby. His arms were wrapped around a lithe blonde woman who barely wore much besides snow white stilettos. Hands on bare skin, arms pulled her tights, lips traced the curve of her collarbone. 

His movements held all the unspoken promises he’d never given Rogue. 

Her heart broke and mended all over again.

A man suddenly at her side broke her reverie. She ignored his proffered drink.

“Hey, sweetheart, I’m Benny. What’s you name?”

“Not interested,” she snapped, her eyes never leaving Bobby and the woman he was wound around.

The man cursed at her and wandered off to his next target. 

The sound must have caught Bobby’s attention because he turned and caught her eye. It took a moment for his confusion to turn to panic. He whispered something to the blonde and fought against the crowd to reach her. 

Rogue shook her head, a signal that he shouldn’t bother, and left through a side door.

She should be feeling pain, betrayal, heartbreak. Something to show she cared. Instead, she felt light enough to fly. The future, her future, without Bobby, without the institute, without the X-Men lay ahead of her. 

Nerves drove her to run towards the street, exuberance kept her from standing still.

“Lookin’ for somethin’, cher?”

She turned to find a man smoking at the entrance of the club, leaned up against the brick wall. He looked like something out of a bad 80’s film. Long tousled hair that draped his face, held back by a knitted cap. Dark shades and a leather jacket.

‘Freedom,’ she thought.

“I’m a mutant,” she said. It was the first thing she’d learned would fend off any unwanted attention. And if that didn’t, an explanation of her mutation would.

The man only tipped his head forward to look at her over his glass. Coals of ember against infinity. 

“S’funny. So am I.”

“Rogue,” Bobby’s voice echoed through the alley behind her. “Rogue!”

“Do you want to get out of her?” she asked, breathless and wound up and ready to run. 

She’d taken a cab here, and there was none to be found. By the time she ran to the end of the street, Bobby would find her. She chewed on her lip and silently begged him to answer.

The man raised an eyebrow as Bobby’s voice grew closer. 

Just when she was ready to turn tail and run, the man reached towards her, a snake quick enough to bite, and tucker her under his arm. The world went black around her and she reached up to find he’d tugged his cap over her hair.

She ducked her head into his jacket when Bobby came around the corner. He passed them, still calling her name. Whether the ruse worked or whether Bobby ignored her didn’t matter. What mattered now was that she was free for the first time in her life.

Gravity couldn’t hold her down, not with this bubble rising in her chest ready to burst her into a million pieces. Giddiness brought with it it’s own high, one that even that reality of her situation couldn’t touch. All that could be sorted out later, for now she was her own woman for the first time in years.

Wrapped up in her own joy, she’d forgotten the man next to her. 

“Guessin’ you changed your mind,” the man asked.

She turned, expecting to find disappointment that she’d asked as a cover, anger she didn’t really want him. Instead she only found a smile. Laughter danced at the edge of his lips.

It was contagious, his smile, so she returned it ten-fold. She shook her head. Tonight, she didn’t want to go anywhere with anyone. Tonight was hers and hers alone. 

Rogue handed him his cap back and slipped back into the club. The music threaded through her blood, thrummed through her veins. She’d didn’t know where she’d go from here, but tonight she’d keep dancing on her own.


End file.
